2024 Reflections
On preparation and purpose.
“When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”
Alexander Den Heijer
2024 brought clarity.
I gained a deeper understanding of my identity and the path laid before me. Cracks in my foundation were revealed again—not to break me but to illuminate how much growth has taken place. I’m outgrowing old chapters and stepping into new ones, taking on new risks, forming new connections, establishing new boundaries, and embracing new mindsets that align with my most authentic and higher self.
Outgrowing Our Environments
One lesson that stood out was that you can't hold onto what feels comfortable forever, or else it'll only hold you back in the end. Sometimes, we hit a limit on the amount of positive influence they can have on our growth. I believe that 2024 was preparing me to leave the things that once brought me comfort and now bring me stagnancy.
I once saw a TikTok that explained how the people in our lives can act as portals to past versions of ourselves because they continue to perceive and treat us as those outdated versions. This can prompt us to fall back into old habits that we might be actively trying to release. People can also serve as our internal audience—who we subconsciously perform for, influencing our everyday actions and decisions.
Now that I have a better understanding of who I am, what I value, and my goals for the future, I've been preparing to cultivate a new audience and community—one that honors who I am now and supports the growth of who I am continuing to become. I have faith that my divine tribe will find me wherever the universe takes me.
Preparing for New Environments
More and more, I’ve come to terms with the fact that the environment I WANT to be prepared for is California. I've had this unexplainable urge, which I can only call spiritual, to move there for as long as I can remember. And I mean unexplainable more in a denial way because I told myself for the longest time that living there would never happen.
It’s ironic, really, because California’s creative opportunities align perfectly with what I’ve struggled with immensely: to be seen and heard. Even when I’ve tried to shrink into the background, I always find myself standing out (how Leo of me). From theater to chorus to dance, I’ve spent years on stages, even when I only wanted to play a supporting role and enjoy the good energy.
I've always felt called to support and serve others, but I’ve realized my voice and presence are more than gifts to use casually and bashfully—they’re responsibilities. God has made it clear: my path requires me to step into visibility, speak confidently, and share the messages others need to hear. These lessons, trials, and tests weren’t just about healing and growing; they were about preparation. I’ve been learning to cultivate stronger boundaries and discernment because they will be needed in the new environments I will be stepping into. Even if I feel unfit for the role, I can't keep denying it.
Be Patient or Take the Risk?
California feels like it could be my blank canvas, one where I can paint a life that’s truly mine—free from fear and outdated expectations. It's a place where I breathe lighter air, feel richer soil, and can grow stronger roots. The steps I’ve been taking are leading me there, not simply out of desire, but from a deeper sense of alignment with my purpose.
Just last week, I did a tarot reading on TikTok, and the message emphasized the need for the collective to pause and prepare before rushing into any major travel or moving plans. The synchronicity of seeing the angel number 234 countless times since has further confirmed this message for me personally, even though at the time of filming, this all wasn’t weighing as heavily on my mind.
This past weekend changed that when I reunited with my best friend whose recent leap of faith has been both inspiring and grounding, but also confirmation of what the collective reading was implying. We went to see the amazing new Mufasa movie about how he journeyed far from all he knew to discover who he was as the Lion King. Afterward, she updated me on her first few months in her new environment and reminded me of the importance of preparation. While she’s received plenty of confirmation that her quick move to the land of opportunity was divinely guided, her experience also highlights the challenges of merely trying to survive instead of thrive.
On one hand, I don’t want to fall into perfectionism and wait forever to feel ready. But her journey prompted me to ask myself: Am I truly prepared to move? Are my fears rooted in genuine limitations or just a fear of the unknown? Can I balance the freedom I crave with the responsibility of building a strong foundation?
Building that foundation has meant confronting my specific habit of escapism. Moving isn’t about running away from my problems—it can’t be. This is about stepping into alignment with my highest self. I’ve revisited my patterns of self-sabotage, stepped out of a victim mindset, and recommitted to growth. I’ve untangled myself from unhealthy cycles, prioritized quality relationships, and practiced boundaries that reflect my true self-worth. Every step has been about laying richer soil for the life I’m building. I don’t have to wait for a major external shift to start changing my life intrinsically.
California isn’t just a destination for me; it’s the environment where I’ll thrive, embrace my creativity, and live in alignment with my purpose. From strengthening my writing to exploring opportunities in modeling and maybe even acting, I’m ready to step into a life that aligns with my true dreams. Or who knows, maybe California is just the next step to get to the next step, or maybe God has even bigger plans than I can dream of. Whatever they are, the work I’ve done this year has prepared me to get out of my own way and take the leap.
I’ve built up so much anticipation for the coming year. As a life path number 9, 2025 holds major themes of culmination and transformation for me—a personal year 9.
The path ahead is unknown, but I’m certain that fear will no longer dictate my steps. If God opens the doors, I’ll walk through them, trusting that what’s meant for me will find me.
For those reading this, I encourage you to reflect on your own year. What patterns have emerged for you? What fears have you confronted, and what new spaces are calling you forward?
Ask yourself:
What environment am I currently growing in? Does it nurture or restrict me?
How have I shown up for myself this year in ways I didn’t before?
What steps can I take to prepare for the life I want to create?
I hope you all have a wonderful new year, see you in 2025!
Jordan💛
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