October Reflections

Reclaiming My Power and Reconnecting with My True Self

October arrived with a promise…

The cards I pulled in anticipation of the month pointed to transformation, healing, and the reclaiming of my power, giving me an exciting roadmap for what was to come.

The 9 of Swords reversed and The Devil reversed hinted that I’d find relief from anxieties and finally free myself from limiting cycles (finally gave up “gardening”). Death reversed warned of some resistance to change but also whispered that by trusting the process, I’d release what no longer served me. The World and 6 of Cups spoke of fulfillment, inner child healing, and completion. Finally, 8 of Wands reversed predicted delays, urging me to reassess and slow down.

These themes unfolded beautifully. They became the groundwork for a month where I remembered who I am at my core and made space for the person I’m truly becoming. With each revelation, I found myself stepping further into an abundant new phase—one where I’m no longer dimming my light for anyone else’s comfort.

Remembering My Worth and Stepping Out of the Shadows

October, in many ways, will go down as the month I reclaimed my time, and reconnected with my true self.

I realized my energy naturally invites others to reflect on their own lives—sometimes in ways that trigger them. And that’s perfectly okay, in fact it’s probably needed.

I used to let others’ discomfort with themselves lead me to shrink, trying not to make anyone feel insecure or uncomfortable. But now, I understand that my light is just that: light. I’m a spotlight that reveals the shadows of others, but those shadows aren’t my burden to carry or fix (trust that I’ve got my own). They’re reflections of where others may need to grow.

For so long, I internalized people’s discomfort as my problem, as if I was “too much.” I thought I had to change to make others feel better. And it makes me incredibly sad to know that I’ve been carrying this ever since I was a child… I never deserved to feel this way.

But I’ve gone to therapy and I’m doing the necessary work to let it go. October reminded me that I’m not here to be anyone’s easy fit—I’m here to be fully, unapologetically myself. Just like everybody else. Those who genuinely want to know me, stay in my life, or support me will love and accept me as I am.

Embracing My Authenticity

One of the biggest realizations I had this month is how powerful it is to embrace my authenticity.

I often felt misunderstood by others, who always seem to expect me to hold a personality I’ve never possessed. I’d often get comments from people—even those much older than me—about how intimidating I come off. Comments about how I walk, sit, and talk with confidence (thanks to the teachings of my mother) or how my personality is so big, and I’d wonder if I should try to “tone it down.”

People see a pretty face and assume I’m stuck up, then end up suprised when they see how genuinely down-to-earth I am. Almost like they think this is all a facade.

My grounded, gentle, and nurturing nature shines on its own without me having to try. Maybe it really is just jealousy? I’ve had a hard time believing anyone could be envious of me, but I’ve come to appreciate and cherish my authenticity because I know not everyone knows how to stand comfortably in their own.

This isn’t a show, I’m not acting. I’m just being me.

My ego has never needed to be loud; It’s quiet and calm, and that alone speaks volumes.

I don’t go out of my way to manipulate people, I don’t have hidden agendas, I don’t even try to get my lick back when I know I’ve been treated unfairly. It’s fine if people want to make passive aggressive comments toward me, talk about me behind my back, try to humble me, or give me backhanded “compliments”.

Karma is real and that’s why I’m still standing in God’s favor.

“The problem is a lot of y’all have a competition spirit and keep forgetting we’re not in competition, we’re in community”

This month, I stopped questioning my worth based on how others reacted to me. I realized that I don’t compete with those around me or put anyone down to feel better about myself—I don’t need to.

My foundation is solid, and I embrace the best and worst parts of myself without needing to prove anything to others. The quiet of my ego is a strength that I’ve come to love, and I no longer see the reactions of others as a reflection of my own worth or capabilities.

Releasing Resentment and Choosing Empathy

This month, I let go of any lingering resentment. I’ve forgiven and truly wish all the people in my past well, without giving them space to return to my life.

In fact, I thank them.

I know they were divinely sent to me as trials to overcome, so that I would end up exactly where I am now: here, writing this post with all the lessons I’ve learned. I was made to crumble and doubt myself so that I could build myself back up and stand in my strength with formidable confidence.

Instead of dwelling on old hurts, I’m continuing to move forward with compassion and empathy, hoping they find their own healing.

Even as I rise, I don’t hold any bitterness. I hope they come to realize that by trying to hold others back and being anything less than genuine and authentic is only keeping them from their own growth and success. Now that I’m stepping fully into my own potential, I will never return to dimming my light.

A Note to Anyone Reclaiming Their Power

I know my worth, and I know what I bring to the table—warmth, authenticity, compassion, kindness, loyalty, empathy, and a divine spirit grounded in truth.

For those who resonate with this journey, who has struggled with feeling “too much” or worrying they’re too bright for others, I want to say: your light isn’t too much. It’s a gift. I hope my reflections remind you that your energy, your light, and your authentic self are gifts worth sharing.

Use it. Spread it. Embrace it.

Remember that the power to walk in your truth, shine unapologetically, and let go of anything that doesn’t serve you is always yours. It’s not our job to adjust our brightness for others’ comfort. The right people will celebrate and love you for exactly who you are, and those who feel challenged by your light are simply being asked to grow.

Here’s to reclaiming our power, celebrating our authentic selves, and moving forward into an abundant, fulfilling new chapter. Goodbye October, hello November💛

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