Sacred Sunday: The Strength to Endure What We Don’t Ask For
A bibliomancy message from the Book of Job, chapters 1 through 6:20, for the 2/22 portal.
Happy Sacred Sunday, divine community, and a very special 2/22 portal!✨💛
I’m not going to lie—I’m not in very high spirits today. But what better time to seek clarity in the Bible, right? That’s what I’ve seen others do, lol. So FYI, this is longer than just a message. This is a purge.
This morning, I gained a lot of quick clarity surrounding some connections in my life. The 2/22 portal highlights clarity in our relationships, choices, and alignment—both within ourselves and with what we engage with externally. I expected it to come with peace and alignment, but instead, it showed up in grief and confusion.
For me, that clarity is realizing how much I still relate to Job’s struggles. With tears in my eyes, I flipped through the pages and found myself back in his story—this time at the very beginning.
I’ve recently realized I have more “monitoring spirits” around me than I ever imagined. My longest friendship ended quietly months ago, and I didn’t even recognize it at first.
Looking back, her “just wanted to say thank you, I love you” text feels less like affection and more like a soft goodbye, with no real interest in working things out or explaining what was wrong.
I only sensed something was off when she suddenly followed me on Instagram. I’d been told she wasn’t on social media, so at first I was excited to see her face again—until I realized she’d been there the whole time. She just didn’t want me to know.
After following her back, I saw a subliminal post I’m mostly sure was shading me. The worst part is that, deep down, I knew this was coming. I’ve watched her treat other “friends” the same way for years. I guess it’s just my turn now that I’ve started prioritizing my own growth and healing over making sure I was always there for hers.
Late-night phone calls, hours-long conversations, physically showing up, offering advice and guidance galore—this was all before I even became a tarot reader and was going through the worst years of my LIFE, still showing up. But when I gave her a reading recently, I knew she wouldn’t like what she heard, even though she needed to hear it—and now this. Maybe that was the reason; I don’t know.
I just didn’t know she thought I’d never amount to much… SO sweet!🥴
Possible soulmate connections, both platonic and romantic, and even certain family connections too… things that once felt aligned, connections I was excited to grow with in this new season of life, continue to fall through and fall short.
So today I’m allowing myself to just grieve and surrender emotionally. I’ve been feeling so heavy and tired lately.
Sunday is the one day I give myself to not work on anything except the blog, and I can already tell I’m going to need to purge through writing because I feel like I’ve been hit by a BUS. My head is both about to combust and fall off my aching shoulders and neck at the same time.
And yes, I know I’m supposed to take rejection, redirection, and confusion as protection… but I’m tired of needing to be protected from people I loved and thought I could trust.
I think I just need to be vulnerable about that here because I know I can’t keep it inside or perform as if I’m fine. However, I’m also not about to fall out of my routine just because this is happening.
I already tried repeating “I’m fine” to myself many times, but this Taurus waxing crescent moon transiting my 9th house is not letting me bypass anything lol. It keeps pushing me to emotionally feel what my physical body is sensing, to ground in it and move through it.
So after this, I’m going to take a walk, soak in a BURNING hot spiritual bath, get in my bed with my cozy socks, rub my feet together, and probably cry to some sad song or movie.
The numbers 123, 321, and 456 may be signs for those resonating with this message.
“This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.”
Job 1:1
As I noted in my last post on Job, he was highly revered and bountiful in love, family, support, and wealth in all forms. But what stands out to me now is how hypervigilant he was.
He purified his family every morning, sacrificing offerings on their behalf in case they had “sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” He constantly stayed aware of potential danger in order to protect the people he loved.
And that mirrored a version of my life.
There was a time where I thought I was happier, surrounded by more connections, more love, more friendship. Looking back, it was actually an illusion rooted in an identity that needed to shift. I’ve always been hypervigilant, something in my body has just never felt fully safe or secure to not be.
I’d exuded this energy by always trying to guide my loved oes away from danger and possible mistakes I saw coming, it even became an issue that my sister communicated to me once (thank God someone did, I truly appreciated and learned from that). I didn’t realize that something I had always done for myself so naturally wasn’t exactly needed for or desired from others. Now I work really hard on keeping that anxiety to myself, but I know that some of it is due to my personal experiences.
So when it comes to me, yeah, I’m constantly reading people’s body language, changes in their tone of voice, their facial expressions. I was constantly picking up on subtle shade, passive aggression, and underlying competition I never asked for, yet still gave people the benefit of the doubt—because if there was an issue, they’d tell me, right?
Wrong. And once those perceived threats were confirmed as real, I shifted deeper into protection mode and became a hermit for years.
Now when I look back, it all feels like a dream. It’s not physically much different, but mentally and emotionally, I don’t even recognize that version of myself or my life.
So next comes the moment where Satan questions God about Job:
“Does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
Job 1:9–11
And God allows it. Everything Job had was handed over, except for his physical body, which made me reflect on something deeply personal.
As much as I’ve struggled in different areas of life, I have always felt protected in my physical body, outside a few events here and there.
Every struggle has been redirectional. And yes, every loss has made me stronger. Even when things feel taken from me or given under false pretenses, I am still here, healthy, strong, and capable of rebuilding.
Because I now hold the faith that there will be a brighter day. And maybe that’s what God represents here, while Satan represents our lingering doubts, shame, and guilt just waiting for another shoe to drop. Confirming inner insecurities and anxieties surrounding holding strong in our faith and confidence in what’s meant to truly be for us.
Being blessed and protected doesn’t always look like having a lot of people around you or a lot of material success. Sometimes the most blessed are the ones who are the most alone and without, because they are being refined.
Job then experiences that refinement as he loses his livestock, his servants, and even his family in a sudden collapse. In that moment, he strips himself bare and surrenders.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”
Job 1:21
And this is where I understood the message immediately. Yes, I can weep. Yes, I can grieve. But I am still grounded in the knowing that everything happens for a reason. I literally have it tatted on me! I’ve been through seasons like this many times, and it has never truly stopped my blessings or growth.
This is not denial. This is protection.
I am not being punished. I am being moved.
One thing about me… I have Saturn in my 8th house. These are hard lessons I was always meant to learn for my highest good and my future. And I’m not mean to receive this type of teatment just because, people do receive their karma specifically in the ways that they treat me.
It’s like God lines people up in my life, and when I don’t have the discernment to see clearly or they start mistreating me, He removes the illusion for me and gives me clear sight of who is really being dealt with.
It’s like Tinder. If someone doesn’t align, God swipes left on them.
I just couldn’t see the why behind them leaving before. I only felt like I was being left behind. And yes, it felt nicer when it seemed like everyone was being swiped right… but that was also the most draining and overwhelming period of my life, and it was only enabling my own bad habits and patterns.
Quality over quantity was always the lesson.
“…and he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”
“Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
Job 2:3–5
Later, Satan is allowed to afflict Job’s body.
To me, that mirrored the depression that once consumed me from head to toe. The times I couldn’t recognize my own beauty or value. Seasons of being undernourished physically, mentally, emotionally.
But now, I intentionally speak to myself daily with words of kindness, confidence, and security, especially about my body. I don’t care how I wake up feeling, I show up for myself anyway. Drink some water. Eat some food. And I’m still working on balancing out my rest. But overall, this has been my greatest act of self love.
And when Job’s wife questioned his integrity? I just knew what was coming next… (I honestly read these pages of Job’s chapter as if it was a gossip column lol so much drama!)
He immediately asked her why expect blessings from God but not hardship? This echoed another tattoo of mine—one I got when I realized those monsoon seasons were truly necessary.
job’s friends then came to comfort him. They wept, sat with him, and mourned with him…but they had no words.
I’ve felt that kind of presence before. People who don’t know what to say. And also people who try to fill silence with words that don’t actually comfort anyone. And sometimes, energy that feels less like support and more like observation.
In Chapter 3, Job curses the day he was born.
Being completely honest with you again, I laughed out loud reading this part.
It sounded extremely similar to the thoughts that have crossed my own mind during darker moments. That feeling that if life had never begun, the pain wouldn’t exist.
And I have noticed something within myself recently—I’m not afraid of death. Not in a rushing toward it kind of way, but in a peaceful, curious way, and when I looked at my birth chart, it made a lot of sense.
Leo Mercury and Sun in my 12th house. Taurus Saturn in the 8th. Mars and Venus in Cancer. I am literally wired to explore life, death, rebirth, emotion, ancestry, and the spirit realm.
That’s why the idea of death has never really scared me, it activates my intuitive curiosity. This is part of my soul’s work. I was born to help people navigate grief, closure, and transformation. So as I’ve built The Divine Vitality, it’s become clearer over time that I’m actually on the path that was always meant for me.
And yes, I have had an early attempt that I regretted quickly. But even that aligns with the story of longing for peace while still being held here for a reason.
“Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure,”
Job 3:20-21
And funny enough, my chart does show longevity in my life. Strong Saturn means endurance. My Leo Sun, my aspects to Pluto and Jupiter… they all point to resilience, regeneration, divine protection over my life and identity.
Even though I hate having to be resilient. Because nobody actually wants to have to be that strong.
Then Job’s friend says:
““If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? … you have strengthened many, but now trouble comes to you and you are discouraged.”
Job 4:2–6”
And that is exactly what I was trying to articulate. When you are grieving, you do not want to be reminded of how much you have done and are meant to do for others. You want someone to do something for you, even if you dont know what it is you need.
It’s no longer a lack of confidence in myself, my future, or my purpose. It is exhaustion.
I’ve been aware of these things, but that awareness hasn’t made it any easier for me to fulfill my role, especially when the same people I’m serving are the ones who leave me high and dry—while I’m still dealing with everything that’s been draining me.
And then he goes even further and says:
“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.”
Job 5:17
And I’m like… why are you assuming Job did something wrong? Because he didn’t, just like sometimes we don’t.
And that’s when Job calls their support what it really was, undependable intermittent streams that dry up when you need them most. Physically present maybe, emotionally understanding and supportive? No.
Now think about what it’s like to be a child growing up and constantly receiving that—or the reverse.
The people I feel deeply connected to are always far away, and I rarely see them. The people who are physically close to me are the ones I don’t feel as understood by, seen, or connected to.
For example, my dad, whom I love deeply and who probably knows me better than anyone in this world, my first best friend—lives across the country and has since I was young, and I might see him twice a year. I’m still grieving that.
I didn’t even realize how much I needed him to be physically present until a few years ago, but circumstances still haven’t really allowed for that yet. That’s probably what I’ve cried about the most lately.
But that’s where I stopped reading and pulled a card for the overall message.
Strength.
Of course. It even matches my age, and yes I’m taking that as a sign.
The Buddha on the card is healing his pain in solitude, in both inner and outer wilderness. The red lotus represents pain being transformed into higher consciousness.
This is a message about the inner strength being built through these trials.
It’s bigger than just knowing I didn’t do anything wrong. Inner strength is found through deeper reflection and meditation, especially in times of transition. When you allow yourself to fully experience pain instead of bypassing it, you come out wiser, stronger, more powerful.
This is about balancing the physical and the spiritual. Grounding and faith. And trusting that I am evolving into something better… and will continue to do so. Even now.
That’s probably enough rambling for now—I’m ready for my walk, lol. If you’ve made it to the end, I hope you found something in this message to help guide you forward. Thank you for reading, and thank you for being my safe space online💛
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