The Quiet Leap: When Faith Feels Like Foolishness

A collective message and personal reflection on why "slow growth" is your greatest initiation

The synchronicities have been loud lately! I’ve been seeing ascending and descending numbers everywhere—1133, 1144, 1222, 222, and that heavy 888 abundance energy. Maybe you’ve been hearing, seeing, or being called the nickname “Sunshine”. Maybe the numbers 69 and 96 have been following you, or something about receiving a “green light” could be important. There’s also something specific here about New York, and the number 33 possibly being connected to plans with a friend. Lastly, the sound of sirens—could be fire trucks or ambulances, to be specific—or even trains.

It’s giving me the energy of incoming abundance and support, almost like the feeling of being rescued somehow. I’m seeing long-term plans, travel, and a potential move—possibly an important decision on the horizon that will lead to a major shift or journey for the collective, like the sun is finally coming out tomorrow!

When I pulled cards to ask what collective the message I was channeling belonged to, I pulled the Queen of Wands and Strength reversed. To be clear, moving forward, this reflection is meant to be treated as a mirror: keep any insight that resonates, and gently let go of whatever doesn’t. This is a collective message, but as a Leo, I just know Spirit was calling me out directly to be a bit vulnerable here with how I give it…

I know I’m “supposed” to be bold and fiery, but Strength reversed shows the reality of a current crisis of confidence—that quiet feeling of being underappreciated or having “leaked” energy. Sometimes, being a Queen of Wands means trusting in your magnetism and being more introverted; lingering on the sidelines to watch and learn before you’re ready to roar. I’m learning that my worth isn’t tied to how loud I can be, or how often I use my voice, but how loyal I can stay to myself when things are slow.

To the outside world, I often wonder whether it looks like I’m actually growing and changing or just standing still. I only started sharing my readings two years ago this fall. But trying to build The Divine Vitality from my bedroom at my mom’s house at almost 28 years old is getting old.

My journey with tarot and building my business still feels so new that, in the quiet moments between writing, posting, and working with clients, I often feel like I can’t stop pushing myself to stay busy or productive. I don’t know if it’s boredom or perfectionism, but there’s always more that I could do to move myself forward. And of course, my ADHD doesn’t help with that—I’m already forgetting or skipping one or two meals a day. So I’m realizing that my current Pluto retrograde lesson in resourcing my power is to probably find more innovative ways to serve my community and loved ones, while also allowing myself the rest, grace, and care that I need to continue that service.

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The Survival Gap

A bit of astrology can explain why I feel the weight of this “waiting game” in my soul…

With Sagittarius ruling my 4th house and my Pluto placed in my 3rd, the pressure of staying home for so long is because my home life isn't just a place for me to sleep; it’s also a transformative pressure cooker where I'm redefining my independence. Sagittarius energy can be very boundless, optimistic, truth-seeking, charismatic, and playful. But also restless, impatient, overindulgent, and brutal when honest.

I possess a natural gift for communication that helps me challenge dogma and expose hidden truths in my home, my family, and our belief systems. It also explains my history of moving and traveling, and my yearning for freedom—freedom of expression, exploration, and to live in the ways that truly support the real me, even if that sometimes looks slow, impatient, or naive to others.

The 3rd house rules our mental landscape and early childhood experiences, especially those involving siblings and school. For me, it’s where Chiron hides my old wounds of being misunderstood and fearful of using my voice. With Scorpio ruling my 3rd house, those early experiences left me deeply introspective and fiercely protective of my thoughts—my mind like a deep, dark, heavy sea. But my Pluto in Sagittarius in the same house is what pushes me to alchemize those wounds into expansion and good karma by using my voice to educate and uplift others through investigative depth and vulnerable truth-telling.

But at 28, this drive for freedom and to expand these messages is currently clashing with the dissatisfaction of my Libra Moon in the 2nd house. She craves financial harmony, stability, and the luxury and comfort of my own space—something that feels far out of reach. Now, with Pluto retrograde in Aquarius, transiting my 6th house of daily work for the next five months, I’m being asked to sit with these shadows and strengthen my emotional foundations. My Aquarius 6th house means my life and daily routine demands to be unconventional and innovative, making it difficult to settle for what’s “normal” or societally expected, even when the financial pressure is high.

Living as a Virgo Rising means I want the perfect routine, and I naturally critique myself to do what looks and sounds “right”. But the Aquarian stellium in me insists that my routine must serve a higher purpose for my community, not just a paycheck to pay the bills, and that the work I’m doing now is already what I need to be doing—I just have to trust that it will be enough. I’m in that liminal space where I’m making just enough to survive, but not nearly enough to truly live.

It’s a heavy, almost crippling feeling to show up with so much love for this craft while the external reality hasn’t mirrored that worth back in my bank account yet. It’s not just a delay; it’s a soul-level restructuring of what security actually looks like daily to me.

I pulled for the main message, and it hit close to home: The 2 of Pentacles reversed, clarified by the Wheel of Fortune.

It’s a reminder that this frantic juggling—the “how am I going to make this work?”—is reaching its limit. The Wheel is turning because the way I’ve been used to carrying the stress is unsustainable, but will also soon be proven to no longer be needed. But the shift isn’t about working harder; it’s about practicing a deeper kind of Strength.

The Fool’s Faith

The 8 of Swords and the Ace of Wands came through as a pair, and it felt like a mirror. I’ve felt trapped by the “lack” in my life, but that new spark—that Ace—is the miracle I’m learning to have faith in.

Deep down, I know I’ve never really been a person who believed in those things happening for her. I can logically recognize small miracles in my life, I guess, but I’ve always deeply resonated with Mirabel from Disney’s Encanto—the sense of not feeling special enough for miracles to happen to you. Or maybe it’s the mindset that if I’m not the one doing it, it probably won’t get done.

Because of that, practicing faith in the unseen sometimes feels like a radical, almost foolish act. Choosing to trust that I am enough, and that I am deserving of some grand amount of support, feels like taking the ultimate leap of The Fool. It’s feminine energy in its purest form: certain and surrendered.

When I pulled The World reversed, I recognized that this chapter might not be fully closed yet, but the King of Cups confirmed that I’m moving toward emotional mastery, where I don’t let “not enough” disturb my peace or slow my pace. Supported by the Five of Cups reversed and the Eight of Pentacles, I’m reminded to stop mourning the “missing” pieces and finally see the cups that are still standing for me, reflecting the shift toward the steady, daily effort I’ve been pouring into my work.

The Hidden Miracle

There was a Knight of Cups hiding at the bottom of the deck, and honestly, it felt like the whole point. He’s the miracle I’ve never quite known how to believe in—a soft, open, almost romantic offer that reflects back everything I’ve been trying to stay open to myself. The reminder that a landing is coming. Not from grinding harder, but from actually trusting the heart that’s been leading this whole thing.

I see people moving through breakthroughs every single day. I won’t pretend I haven’t asked, more than once, when mine is coming too. But I think I’m starting to understand that the miracle isn’t just about money, or a relationship, or a move-out date. It’s that I finally know my own power. Enough to look like a Fool for believing that the best is still ahead—and to be okay with being a little bit more patient for my miracle.

What about you?

If you’re sitting in your own “waiting room” right now, what is the one miracle you’re practicing faith in—even if it feels a little “foolish” to everyone else? What are you choosing to believe about yourself today, despite what your current circumstances might be saying?

Let’s hold that space for each other in the comments, for we are never doing this alone!

With love and vitality,
Jordan💛

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