When Visibility Finds You: The Slippery Slope of Influence

A personal reflection on celebrity culture, idolatry, parasocial energy, and the importance of remaining authentic while being perceived.

I’ve been thinking a lot about fame lately. Not in the way that I’m chasing it or romanticizing it, but the concept of it. Because in a way, I’m realizing I’ve possibly been prepared to embrace something I’ve never actually sought. You know how kids say they want to grow up to have fame and fortune? Honestly, I’ve never really wanted the fame—I just wanted the fortune, or at least the stability it could provide.

I’ve never aspired to be “famous,” and I’ve always claimed to have stage fright, but I’ve always been around the spotlight—growing up in dance, chorus, and theatre. There was always this block around being perceived and embarrassing myself. And yet, for some reason, Spirit guided me to work on it by posting content for the WHOLE WIDE WORLD to see!

Deep down, I’ve always felt like I was meant for more, to experience more, and now I can feel it starting to trickle in as I’m being guided toward greater visibility. Toward influence. Toward being seen.

And it’s kind of funny because earlier this year, I wrote this affirmation on my profile:

And not long after posting that, my life really did start shifting. I am getting paid to be me. To speak intuitively guided messages. To create content. To practice more stillness, slowness, and presence. Which is all very beautiful and exciting… but it also makes me confront my fears of losing myself in the process of becoming revered for what I can do.

Because there’s a thin line between being seen and being idolized, and an even thinner line between inspiration and delusion. Some people fall too deeply into a savior complex masked by a “Chosen One” archetype or narrative: thinking they are specially picked to lead, guide, and illuminate the masses.

And it’s not to deny or invalidate anyone of their experiences, I’m just saying that spiritual psychosis is real, and in certain corners of the spiritual community, it’s a slippery slope. It’s where ambition, ego, and divinity blur together—and sometimes where idolization begins.

Sometimes, I remember my Catholic upbringing could probably explain some of these negative associations I have with fame. We’re taught that idolizing people—or thinking someone is above reproach—isn’t just naïve, it’s spiritually dangerous.

Exodus 20:3-5: “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol…”

1 Corinthians 10:14: “Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.”

I think about that a lot when I see both fans and creators losing their grip on reality: assuming they know everything about someone, or presenting themselves as above it all, led by ego and pride. It’s a reminder to stay grounded, to remember humanity over projection, and to avoid crossing that line myself. Especially when everyone has a theory, an initiation story, a past life memory, or a new conspiracy they’re unpacking every other week.

And once you start looking at fame and the personas of celebrities through a spiritual lens, the whole thing gets even more complicated.

Like, yes, some celebrities really are witches, energy workers, magicians—whatever term fits. Some are genuinely using their knowledge of energy and spirituality to navigate or manipulate fame, power, and influence. Some are consciously harvesting attention. Some are performing rituals. And some rumors are just that: rumors.

It gets confusing because… we don’t actually know these people. We only know their highlights. Their projections. Their job. And yet social media has us acting like we have full access to their souls.

The backlash against Ayesha Curry’s recent comments is a perfect example of this. She shared that she originally didn’t want children, was focused on her career, but found her life shifted unexpectedly after meeting her husband, Steph.

Drama erupted online. People immediately attacked her for embarrassing her superstar husband, but to me, it looked like a woman simply speaking up about something we’re usually told to stay silent about. Because imagining anything beyond “she must hate him, resent her kids, or regret her choices” would require too much nuance and critical thinking skills.

Gilbert Arenas Defends Ayesha Curry Amid Backlash From Steph Marriage Comments

Sports Illustrated: Defending Ayesha Curry and her husband Steph as ugly backlash continues

But for many women, myself included, her comments felt refreshing because they were relatable. And what’s funny is even some men are stepping in like, “No, I get what she meant.”

I genuinely don’t understand why we as a society feel so entitled to be loudly concerned about relationships that have nothing to do with us. Every partnership looks different behind the scenes because we have all been shaped by different experiences, creating our different needs. Merging your life with someone else is never as effortless as it looks, especially when fame adds another layer to navigate.

Life changes, priorities shift, and sometimes we feel like we’ve lost—and found—parts of ourselves along the way. Speaking openly about that can remind us of our humanity, but under the celebrity microscope, nuance gets lost in translation. Her honesty may have embarrassed Steph, sure, but it’s also nice that these conversations are happening publicly. It’s human. It’s real. And it reminds me how much celebrity perception is curated, projected, and debated—while the actual humans behind it continue their complex, private lives.

I was talking about all this with my boyfriend, and of course, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith came up. And really, it just highlighted the same point: the same relationships we idolize might actually be built on dynamics we would never choose for ourselves. People love to say “couple goals” but don’t actually consider what’s going on behind the aesthetic.

Lyrics from J. Cole’s song “No Role Modelz”

If anything, I’ve learned to live my life based on authenticity, not steered by the fear of embarrassment. It’s not gonna kill me to be perceived as imperfect, as long as I don’t allow it to. It’s something many celebrities and people in positions of power have had to learn, navigating the extremely wild territory that sometimes comes with the platform.

And now, with TikTok and social media growing the way they are, the parasocial energy is worse than ever. People feel like they know celebrities and creators inside and out. Like boundaries don’t exist. Like relatability equals intimacy, and intimacy equals entitlement to more access to what should be left sacred. We’re witnessing people shape themselves in real time, under constant commentary.

And now I’m on the receiving side of that.

My boyfriend keeps joking that I’m a celebrity. He says he sees me the way we see other tarot readers and spiritualists with big platforms, and I keep brushing it off. It’s not just that I don’t see myself that way; there’s also a part of me that’s maybe a little afraid of the territory that comes with that title.

But I’m beginning to understand his perspective. Not in a self-important way, but in the sense that I am aware that I’m being perceived. Strangers come to me for clarity. My face and voice have reached millions. And that means they’re forming their own ideas of who I am, with or without my input.

And that’s… strange. Warm and exciting, but also a little daunting.

Because my biggest fear with visibility is that if people perceive me as imperfect, all hell might break loose. Publicly. Not just private embarrassment, but scrutiny, judgment, and expectation.

How much can I say? How openly can I share? How do I stay myself while millions watch? When I first started tarot, I wondered how best to present myself so people would like me. I’ve masked, I’ve people-pleased, I’ve bent myself into shapes that weren’t mine. But I’ve learned I can’t control others’ perceptions or judgments—only my relationship to myself in the face of them. And even when I try, things go wrong—burnout, obstacles, delays, illness.

So was this always Spirit’s way of working with me to prepare for this visibility? To make sure my motivation isn’t tied to wealth, fame, followers, likes, or views?

Because I think that’s the point, and maybe even divine timing. Pluto in Aquarius is shifting power dynamics right now. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling guided into this space at this time. People are tired of false idols, tired of polished perfection, tired of curated enlightenment. What’s valuable now is honesty. Vulnerability. The messy middle.

A friend once told me that what draws people to me is the fact that I ramble, stumble over my words, and don’t pretend to be above being human. I don’t chase numbers—I just show up and speak. And that’s enough.

So when I catch myself stressing about losing followers right before hitting a milestone, or wondering if I need to wear my straight-haired wig so my videos will “perform better”… I remind myself: this was never about how I look. It was never about the numbers and trying to go viral. It started with a girl trying to find and share peace. Stability. Building a life that didn’t require me to break or fake who I am to survive and succeed.

I want genuine, aligned prosperity, not performance.
I want to be grounded, not to be worshipped.

Because fame, wealth, and visibility can be intoxicating. They come with good and bad. But if I ever let them define me, I risk crossing a line I’ve spent years learning to honor. Spirit has taught me to build internally what I’m now cultivating externally, and the balance is everything. I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I know that this is just the beginning.

So I come back to myself. To my why. To my humanness.

I don’t need to become anything. I just need to stay present.
The rest is already happening.

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